Poythress Response

Poythress Responses really helped me think into different perspectives. I think Poythress helped me be able to see things from a different perspective because I don't agree with everything he has to say. But the responses really challenged me to find something that I agreed with and explain why. Both these responses were ones I enjoyed writing because they challenged me to think.

I do believe that recovering the authors intent on a piece is the most important goal in reading because it helps the reader understand exactly what he or she is reading.  Now this doesn't meant that you cant interpret the message and apply it to your life as you wish but the author is trying to convey a message a message that he wants the reader to hear and understand. As a reader I find it to be only polite to take into consideration what the authors intent behind his piece is.   This doesn't mean you have to accept what the writer has to say but it should be acknowledged.

Peer Review 2

     In this peer review I felt like it was my best for the method 1.  Jade came prepared with outlined points that she wanted to argue. It helped me as a writer find high points and low points to an argument. I hope my comments guided her to connect ideas to her best.

Method 1 Peer Review Worksheet

Reviewer: Jade Deschamps                                  Other Group Members: Madeline Ott (myself)

Date: October 30, 2013

            Each writer should begin by reading his/her material aloud. As you listen to the essay being read, write down any points, comments, suggestions, or questions you might have. After the material has been read, you will all discuss its strengths and how it might be improved. The writer may also mention any particular concerns he or she has about the essay at this point. Offer feedback to each of your group members on the paper’s strengths and areas for improvement.

Positive Comments:

-Paper is outlined very well

-Each point is clearly stated

-Each point is followed by supported facts/statements/materials

-The argument itself is clearly stated along with the position she is taking

-Your opposition is very good, you really present the ideas well of the arguments that one may have against your own argument

-The statistics provided under part 2 section 5 are very effective.  Seeing numbers and the increase of prices over a period time creates a sense of truth, I believe what you are saying.

Improvement Comments:

-I would suggest putting in testimonies from farmers that have been sued by Monsanto to really capture the emotion and significance this has on the farmers lifes.

Overall the outline you presented to me today is very good.  Your paper is clear and to the point, you have everything organized and I believe you are ready to put it all together!

Peer Review 1

This is the peer review that I am most proud of. It was hard because Jades draft was perfectly organized but I did my best to try and critique her to her best. I tried my best to help her find the style of her paper.  

Method 2 Peer Review Worksheet

Reviewer: Madeline Ott         Writer: Jade Deschamps

Date: November 13, 2013                                     Page count of draft: 4

1.     Summarize and comment on the clarity of the paper’s thesis/main idea. Before reading further, what two questions, comments, concerns do you have about the thesis?

Your opening paragraph addresses your topic very well. It gives good basic information on Monsanto it the company being a monopoly. Your last sentence clearly states the position you take and the argument you are about to support. Great job your

2.     Remark on the unity of each paragraph and how they develop the thesis (at least 2 examples):

 Each paragraph flows very well. For example from your introduction to your second paragraph I really enjoy how you start with how Monsanto’s patents work. Each paragraph ends with a sentence that the next paragraph picks up on that topic. I really like how this works.

3.     Make a note about the essay’s style (e.g. language, tone, sentence-pattern variation, etc.):

To a reader like myself, your essay is very black and white which isn’t a bad thing at all for an argumentative essay. Your facts and ideas are clearly stated. But for a reader like myself, I lost interest in the paper. It was a bit hard for me to read because it is loaded with info. Like I said this is a good thing! Your argument is presented clearly its just you may want to make it a little bit more personal.  I think incorporating some “illustration” would be a very effective technique. Like we talked about the first peer review try using some testimonies from farmers.

4.     How effective is the paper’s structure? Suggest alternatives:

The papers structure is effective with the position you are holding and your argument. Like I suggested in number 3, maybe add in some testimonies to show the reader how Monsanto has interfered with farmers lifes.

5.     Speculate on the likely audience for this paper:

The audience for this paper is likely to be farmers and people who know of Monsanto.

6.     What are potential flaws in the paper (include grammar and spelling only if these are pervasive)? Propose solutions:

Your paper is so well written out, the only thing I would watch out is possibly loosing the attention of the reader because so many facts are listed. Remember that you can incorporate interviews, testimonies and stories into your paper.

7.     List this paper’s strengths:

What I like about your paper is your argument is stated so clearly with facts that support everything you are saying. This gives a sense of truth to your paper. Even though you aren’t citing any specific book or website I still believe everything you are saying.

8.     How successfully does the paper satisfy the thesis?

I would say the paper clearly satisfies the thesis. And it does it in an organized manner.

9.     Does the essay fulfill the assignment?

Yes, you have an argument that you have clearly addressed and supported.

10.  Final comments:

I struggled to find things that I could tell you might need some attention. You have a great paper, but I think making it a bit more personal you would have a perfect paper.

Argumentative

    My Argumentative was a difficult paper for me because I wanted to treat it like a research paper.  I changed my topic three times. But once I found the topic I was passionate about the paper was easier to write. I learned how to put make my statistics legit by stating what site I got them from. I did it in a way to make the paper not seem so formal. This paper also helped me connect ideas together. I had a lot of information and tried to use as much as I could to support my argument so I had to tie it all together as best and clean as I could.

Madeline Ott

Dr. Elam

English 101

December 5^th, 2013

Online Bullying

Standing by his locker Davis is waiting for the girl that has been running across his mind for the last week. He had picked out his best pair of pants and his favorite t-shirt to go along with it.  He is so happy that after a rough start to his eighth grade year things have begun to look brighter. Looking down to check his phone for the time, Davis looks up to the sound of the word “Fag” being shouted in his face. Who he thought was Rebecca was really two cheerleaders posing as a girl, Rebecca, over ask.fm.com, Facebook, and texting.

Davis is my cousin. Not only has he been bullied online but so has my other cousin Lincoln. Davis and Lincoln are one of millions who gets bullied online.  In fact 95% of teenagers have encountered bullying online. The Internet is a wonderful resource but just like many things it has its flaws. The Internet is home to search engines like Google, Bing, and yahoo that help us in our daily lives. But it is also home to social networking sites such as Facebook, Tumblr, Ask.fm, and Twitter. These sites are great ways to interact with friends and family but if not used properly they are also great places for people to bring down other people. That is why parents should monitor there children’s social networking cites until they know that there child is responsible enough to social network on their own.

More children are getting smart phones and being exposed to social networking at younger ages. At these young ages children haven’t experienced enough to properly conduct themselves on social networking cites. According to internetsaftey.org 85% of parents know that their children has a social networking cite.  It also says that 74% of parents are concerned of their child’s behavior online but don’t take action to protect their child.  This is a problem; parents are concerned, but aren’t taking action. Parents need to take action when it comes to expressing their concern to their children and need to bring attention on how to properly conduct their selves on the Internet.

If parents begin to monitor their children’s social networking accounts then parents will know when suspicious activity is occurring on there child’s site.  Then parents will be able to take action and explain to their children the proper way to deal with being bullied online. The most important thing to remind your child when dealing with a bully online is to remind them not to engage. Create an environment for your child where they feel comfortable to approach you and tell you that they are being bullied online. Also, parents can keep tabs on their child by checking your history on the computer and adjusting privacy settings on the computer to fit the child’s needs.

Certain Internet browsers allow the user to set privacy settings on certain sites such as Facebook and Twitter. Doing this you can ensure that your child can’t reach certain pages or has only a set amount of time on the site itself.  All Internet browsers have a security option. One can find it under the tools button for Internet Explorer and Google chrome. If one uses Safari or Firefox simply click on the browser name and go to system preference.  Using the security preferences provided by the browser of ones choice can help limit the access ones child has to certain cites. One can even make settings that block pages with inappropriate language. Also parents can monitor their child’s surfing of the Internet to make sure that their child is safe.

When parents monitor their children’s social networking sites not only will they be able to help with online bullying but also their child will gain a sense of responsibility. Expressing concern to children about social networking and monitoring their child’s social networking accounts, the child will begin to understand just how important the matter is. Expressing concern with your child about social networking and how it can be so easily used to degrade and bully a person give the child an idea of how easily it can happen and how to look out for it and help those that are bullied.

As social networking has advanced and more stories of bullying are presented in the media today people have all different opinions. A comment I heard in a recent article is that kids need to grow thicker skin because bullying will always happen. This is a red herring because it really isn’t dealing with the issue it is avoiding it.  Some people do have thick skin but some people don’t. A person shouldn’t be bullied in person or online. Just because you aren’t directly in front of a person degrading them doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt any less online. Living in a world where people are nasty to each other in person and online is no world to live in.

My cousin in Georgia, Lincoln, was recently bullied on ask.fm.com. Ask.fm is a website where people can create accounts and people can ask them questions anonymously. I remember 5 years ago this website was created and I had one for a week before I realized what the website was. Ask.fm is a place for bullies to put in work.  In Lincoln’s case they asked him why he acts a certain way, or calling him ugly and a faggot. People were making comments about his girlfriend and telling him that he is whipped. This is all being done anonymously.

After Lincoln told me his story of being bullied online I then turned to his parents and asked how they found out. They gave a great example of how easy it is to monitor there child’s social media. Immediately his mother told me she was the one who saw it. She explained how she does weekly social networking checks to make sure Lincoln is behaving and that he is interacting with an appropriate manner and with appropriate people.  Then his dad told me that they make sure to talk to Lincoln if they see anything concerning. “I want my child to utilize the Internet and take advantage of the sites it offers but I want him to do it in a responsible safe manner. If he is getting bullied I want him to deal with it correctly and get it to stop. If he is bullying someone else then there will for sure be consequences for him as well”

If all parents took action like Lincolns parents did then the Internet would be a safer place for kids. The Internet is a vulnerable place for any individual but especially for children. The bully feels safe because they are hidden behind a monitor and a keyboard. As a parent of a child that is being bullied it is important to save all messages or comments from the bully. This way if the bullying gets out of control and action to stop the bully needs to take place there is evidence that shows what the bully is doing.  My Aunt Sue, mother of Davis did exactly this.

My Aunt Sue began to notice a difference in the way Davis was acting, “He seemed sluggish to me, not talking or smiling very much” she said to me.  “When did you realize that Davis was being bullied?” I asked her. She replied, “Davis was so upset one day, I had no idea why. I had been asking him in the previous weeks if something had been bothering him. He said everything was fine, but on this particular day I knew that he was upset. He told me that he was being bullied online. He showed me all the messages and I couldn’t help but feel my heart sink. My child was being bullied by kids that were going to his school for a month now and I had no idea.”

My Aunt Sue is not the only parent that wasn’t aware of their child being bullied online. According to dosomething.org only 1 of 10 victims will inform their parents of the abuse they are getting online.  But when my Aunt Sue’s attention was brought to it she did not ignore it. She went straight to Davis’s principle. Printing off the messages and comments that were made, highlighting the names of the kids and the dates they were written. “I do not want those kids to get in trouble because I am upset they hurt my child,” my aunt said to me “I want them to realize just how dangerous it is to write this stuff online, and realize that it does effect the person they are bullying even if it is face to face.  This is a serious matter, and they don’t realize it.”

A great example of how serious online bullying is, is the story of Rebecca Sedwick a 12-year-old Florida native who jumped to her death from a water tower. Rebecca was bullied in school and online by 2 girls, one who was originally her friend. These girls posted statuses saying that Rebecca needed to die, and drink bleach to kill yourself. This issue got so out of hand that Rebecca was removed from the school. The school told Rebecca that she just needed to suck it up and grow thicker skin.  When Rebecca left she was still being bullied online, and it pushed her to the edge where she felt like the only option that was left was to kill herself.

Online bullying is a real thing, I have personal experience, I have family and friends that have experienced it and there are people who’s stories have reached National News involving bullying. It is an issue and I know it won’t stop but we can do things to ensure that people won’t take their lives due to it and to really try and prevent it. The Internet has grown in the last 10 years and it will continue to grow. People will still continue to abuse the privileges of the Internet and it is important that Parents, School, and Teachers make children aware on how to conduct there self on social networking sites.  Just imagine kids like Davis, Lincoln, and Rebecca. They suffered. Online bullying will be here forever and together as one we can prevent it as much as possible.

Final Narrative

    My narrative turned out out to be something very special for me. I feel like my writing process skills advanced. I learned how to make my paper have a good flow to it. I also feel like I made ideas connect well so the paper wasn't too jumpy. I wanted this paper to read like a book which I feel I also created. Overall this paper was a big step for me and I am proud of it.

Madeline Ott

Professor Elam

English 101

October 10, 2013

Rebirth

I’m tired. Tired of being someone I’m not. Why do I dress like this? Why do I pretend like I enjoy this music? Why do I act this way when I know this isn’t who I am? As I was staring at my feet hanging off my bed I couldn’t help but let these questions into my head.  With tears filling my eyes it was then, sitting on my bed in my room, that I realized I had been lying to myself about who I was for the last two years.

            “Maddie? Madeline Ott? Are you even listening? Do you even care? Look at me when I am talking to you!” As my mom was yelling this in my face I couldn’t help but laugh in my head. She was stupid, stupid for trying to change someone who was never going to change.  Even though I’m only 16 I know exactly what I want in life. Juron, a small white house with a picket fence, a garden, and bong rips.  She’s foolish for not realizing that I am stoned right now. All I want in life is to be as far away from my parents as I can. Far away from Virginia Beach to a place where the sun is always shining, the water is crystal clear blue, and I’m always high.

            I couldn’t believe what I just had read in my journal. I wanted to laugh in my moms face? I called her stupid? Why had it come to this, why had I had to get this drunk?  As I tried to stand up a sharp pain in my head had me lying back in bed. Lying there I tried to remember what had happened the night before. What even happened yesterday? Then it hit me; yesterday my parents found my bong. It was a Friday night and they grounded me, but I somehow persuaded them to let me go to a basket ball game with my brother. Then bits and pieces came back to me…

            “Maddie! We got a bottle! Did you convince your mom to let you out?”  I was so excited to hear Rena’s voice. “Oh hell yeah! And yeah she did! I’ll come get you in 10 minutes” As I got off the phone with Rena I looked at Juron and he had that devilish smile on his face like he knew exactly what I was thinking, we are going to get FUCKED UP tonight! I grabbed my jacket and keys, grabbed my brother and told him he can drive, and with that Juron and I walked out the door with a joint being lit, it was about to be a good night.

            How could I have let myself do that? How could I let myself abuse my parents’ trust that much? They could have taken away all my freedoms, all my privileges after find my bong but instead they had enough trust and hope in me to go out with my brother and make good decisions. Did I even go to the basketball game with my brother? Was there even a basket ball game? Where was my phone? Lifting up blankets and pounding through pillows I found out that I had slept in my own puke all night. Ah hah my phone! I had 12 new messages. I opened the first one from Rena “Are you alright? Last night was epic! But then you died somewhere around 2 and then things went bad! Call me when you get up! I left aspirin and water on your dresser, love you!” As I stared at my phone I couldn’t help thinking what the fuck had I done? Then the night started falling in place.

            “I’m here bitch! Yeah we got weed. Hahaha. Hurry up!” as I got off the phone Juron was telling nick how he just got a possession charge and has to serve 6 months in jail in March.  I couldn’t help but to remember the other two times he had been in jail. I had been sitting with my mom in cheesecake factory one day when he called me from jail telling me had been pulled over for a DUI and had to serve a week. That was a hard one to explain to my mother. Everyone always encourages me to leave him but I can’t. I’ve fallen in love with him. He gives me that warm fuzzy feeling in my stomach that every girl my age dreams of feeling.  I know Juron can do better, he promised me this is the last time he is going to jail. . I believed him too. I knew this time was different.

            “Finally! Where’s the bottle?” I asked frantically as Rena got into the car. “Damn girl! Slow your roll, long day?” Rena asked jokingly.  She knew exactly what had happened today, about my parents and my bong. She pulled out a bottle of Aristocrat vodka. My stomach turned and my body got the chills.  Fuck, I hadn’t eaten all day. How could I have eaten anyways? I was upset with my parents and my vivance never makes me hungry.  “Give me that hahaha” I grabbed the bottle from Rena and started chugging.         “That’s my girl!” Juron said as he grabbed my chin and kissed me. “So were going to a basket ball game?” Nick asked “Nope we are going to the beach!” I said with a shriek.  “Haha that’s more like it” Nick said. Now how do I always manage to get exactly what I want? I laughed about the thoughts running through my head and just kept drinking til I couldn’t stop smiling.

            “Ughhh” I couldn’t help but groan out loud. I then realized how much shit I have gotten myself into.  You just don’t know when enough is enough do you Maddie? I felt like throwing books, punching walls, pulling my hair out! I sat up in my bed and grabbed the sheets on the side of me and gazed down at my legs.  It felt like I was stuck in time, stuck forever with my parents mad at me, stuck with me mad at myself. How was I going to get out of this? What happened to the girl that was confident, the girl that didn’t need drugs didn’t need to always be fucked up to get through the day? The life I live isn’t a bad one at all.  I fell back on my bed. Hitting my head on the pillow I felt another sharp pain on the front of my head. Bringing my hand up to my forehead I felt two big bumps and a large scratch.  Seriously? How did this happen? I reached for my phone and called my brother hoping he could tell me what I had done.

            “Hell-o..”, Nick must haven been sleeping, his raspy voice gave me the idea that the night hadn’t been gentle to him either. “Nick, why do I have a big ass bump on my head?” he sighed I could tell that something had gone wrong last night. “Your drunk ass fell out of my truck Maddie. Do you not remember?” Before I even had the chance to answer he continued talking. “Of course you don’t, you were piss drunk. Damnnit Maddie,” he said, I could tell Nick was upset with me. “Why do you always have to push away? Why do you have to do stupid shit when you know your going to get in trouble? Why can’t you stop and think about all the people that love you and how you are hurting them?” I couldn’t believe he was saying this to me.  Of course I have heard this whole talk a thousand times before but this was coming from my brother. My brother is everything; we always have each other’s backs. If I had hurt him then I knew I have hurt my whole family. “I’m sorry Nick, I’m going to fix this. I’m going to fix me.” I ended the call and stared down at my phone. I found myself tuning out the world and numbing my body. If only I could feel this way all the time. With tears filling my eyes I flipped through my journal and found the entry when I first realized how I am falling apart.

            I’m like a broken mirror, I can still see my self in the mirror, but I’m broken into a thousand pieces. A thousand pieces of me are scattered, the good ones mixed with the bad ones.  All the pieces are there but I still feel like something is missing. The drugs don’t do much, yeah I forget for a little but once the high comes down I am right back where I started. Lost, confused, screaming inside for help, for someone to notice I need help. But my confidence gets in the way every time. I’m scared to show weakness. Scared to let people see me fall. So I continue to mask myself with a pretty face and a fuck it attitude.

            What I had just read I had written 3 months ago. How bad have I gotten since then? Staring at these words I remembered a conversation I had with mom. “Madeline, I just don’t know what has happened to you.  You use to have this light in your eye and now your gone. I don’t know where you are.” I remember thinking she was right, but me not wanting to seem unstable told her she was wrong and I was still the happy girl that I had always been. I’ve been lying to myself for 6 months. Lying to myself about my life. I’ve lied so much that I believed it was the truth.

            Staring at the ceiling, laying in my bed, not minding that I was sprawled out in my throw up I thought about my life. My options. Is there a way to make this work?  I have dug myself a whole, a deep whole. The only way I am going to get out of here is with some help. Someone is going to have to help me build a ladder. Or could I find a way to end this. I hate this thought, the idea that I could just take a hand full of vivance and be gone just like that.  Is life even worth it? My parents don’t trust me, my boyfriend doesn’t do me any good, and I’m failing in school. What do I have to hold on to? What good am I to this world?

            Suddenly I got angry; Angry at myself for letting the idea of suicide cross my mind.  Angry for not realizing how short I had been cutting myself from succeeding in life.  How could I have been so stupid? Getting caught up in a mess of drugs, bad people, and loss of hope. Was it to late? Could I change who I am. Can I be saved from my own demons? Looking down at my journal on my lap I felt myself grin as if I remembered a funny memory. Why was I grinning? Had I expressed every other emotion so much that the only one left to show was happiness? I then without thought opened to the page in my journal that inspired me to get up, forgive myself, and start fresh. As I looked down at my journal with light in my eyes I read the quote from Dalai Lama “With realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world.” Looking up I realized how much brighter my room seemed. Suddenly I felt the need to change. I knew it was time for me to end this life of lies and begin doing the things I love and enjoy. This road will be the one less traveled on but once I get to the end it will make all the difference. With Ernest Hemingway and the Dalai Lama inspiring me to challenge myself I realized it was time for me to get out of bed.

            The clapping of hands had broken the trans that I was put in.  I had forgotten that I was telling my story to a group of adolescent teens and their parents at my church.  It’s been a year and half since all the trouble I had gotten in and it still gave me an uneasy feeling in my stomach to talk about it.  I looked up at my mom standing in the corner of the dim lit room. Recently I have been noticing the light in her heart that she projects to anything around her. I can’t believe I fought this women for so long, I know I should be happy that I woke up and realized that our relationship can be mended but I feel as if I’ll never be able to forgive myself for even half of the things I had said or done to her. She pointed at her mouth and smiled indicating that I needed to be doing that.  I smiled and asked if anyone had any questions. A girl probably around 15 or 16 raised her hand. I replied with a yes, she then asked “How long did it take for you to repair your relationships with the people you love? How long did it take you to get to the point you are today? How come you didn’t give up?” I looked at her curiously. I hadn’t ever asked myself these questions.  But the thoughts of giving up and just continuing the old bad habits had crossed my mind.  Rebuilding my relationship with my parents and earning there trust was the hardest thing I had done.  It took patience and understanding for I had broken trust with them so many times that it seemed hard to believe they even took my word that I was trying to change.

            “Wow, I had never even thought about how far I have come sense then and how many obstacles I faced.” I said to the girl with a slight smile.  “The morning I got out of my bed, and decided to face myself was probably the hardest day of my life. I just remember thinking why would my parents believe their hung-over daughter who had been lying to them for half a year that she really was going to change…  Trust me it took some time for them to even see that I was really trying to change. But the whole time I kept telling myself you can do this, you can be true to yourself.  I began to do more things I loved. Playing the guitar, spending time with my sister and brother, helping the less fortunate and slowly my parents and I began to see the change in myself. We never talked about it but we all knew it was happening. There were times where I wanted to scream and say screw this because this process was a hard one, but I kept going.  It took double the time to fix the relationships that I had broken in half the time.  Every step of it was worth it though. I don’t regret much in my life, because the mistakes I made helped me become the person I am today. But the best advice I can give to you young adults right now is make mistakes, but don’t make the same mistakes twice. Also, love yourself and love everything around you.  As cliché as that sounds if you do show love, your whole mind set of life will change and you will notice the light in your heart, in everyone’s heart.” The young girl smiled at me. I thanked everyone for listening to my story and with one last applause I left the room.

            Walking out of the doors of the church I felt cleansed. I couldn’t help but reflect on that girls question. Why hadn’t I given up? Then I looked around outside and realized why would I ever want to give up? Life is beautiful, everything that happened to me a year and a half ago happened to me for a reason. My relationships with my family members and friends have flourished in such positive ways and without the trouble I had gotten in is what has brought me this far.  That part of my life is done, and I believe I have grown to become a better person. Breathing in the sweet summer air I walked to my car with a smile not looking back at the past nor ahead at the future but now, here this moment, and how happy I am. Namaste.